Tuesday, May 21, 2013

A Sign From Daisy

When I found out that Daisy died I didn't have the luxury of curling up into a ball and hiding from the world for a few weeks.  We were still in California and after days of searching we still hadn't found a house.  So I put my pajamas on, convinced myself that I had to find a house for the sake of our other fur babies and we headed out the door to meet the realtor.

I really felt like there was no way I would like any house we saw that day.  I was pretty sure I was going to hate everything I saw because I was so upset.  But the moment we walked into the first house that day we knew it was THE ONE.  It just felt like home.  We kept walking through the house expecting to find some horrible flaw but it actually kept getting better and better.  I actually had the thought fly through my head "did Daisy send this house to us?"  It was perfect.  We even kept joking that we weren't cool enough to live in this house!

A few days later I was looking at pictures of the house to try to cheer myself up and distract myself.  And I stopped on this picture and gasped........
bouquet of daisies on coffe table
Do you see what I see?  Look closely.....do you see it now???
bouquet of daisies
There's a bouquet of daisies on the coffee table of our dream house.  I'm normally not one who believes in signs.....but signs don't get anymore obvious than this, do they?

As of Friday, the dream house is now ours.  And in a few short weeks we'll be living in the house where Daisy left a little sign for me to find.  Pretty amazing, isn't it?


And I want to send out a huge thank you to everyone who left such sweet comments on my last post.  I'm sorry I haven't been able to personally respond to all of you yet but your comments have really lifted me up and warmed my heart.  It's so incredible to know that so many people would take the time to leave such kind words for someone they've never met.  Big hugs to all of you!

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Daisy: March 26, 1997 - May 6, 2013

Daisy my calico cat
I'm crushed.  I'm broken.  My heart has been shattered into a million little pieces.

While we were house hunting in California last week my precious little Daisy died unexpectedly in her sleep while boarding.  She was 16 years old.  She had a few health problems that were being managed with medication.  But she was playing and purring and eating and snuggling and acting like a completely normal, happy, healthy cat before we left.  There was not even the slightest hint that something so tragic was about to happen.  It was a shocking blow to hear the news that she was gone.

I boarded her and Cassi (19 years old) at the vet because of their age and they're both on medication.  I also boarded Bailey because he and Daisy are inseparable best friends and I didn't want them to have to be apart.  That didn't work out so well....
Daisy and Bailey my cats
And all I can do now is torture myself with questions.  Was Daisy terrified the last few days of her life because she was boarding and not at home?  Did the anxiety of boarding cause this to happen?  Did she think her Mommy abandoned her?  Was there something else we could have done for her?  Some other test?  Some other medication?  Something that would have prevented this?

It gives me small comfort to know that she peacefully died in her sleep and that she was sharing a "condo" with her best friend but I will never get over the fact that I never got to say goodbye.  I never got to see her one last time.  I didn't get to hold her and tell her I love her and be the last thing she saw before she left us.

And in a bizarre twist of fate, that was the same day we found our dream house in California.  So what should have been one of the happiest days ever ended up being a tie for "worst day of my life" with the day that Max died.   I know life has ups and downs.  And sometimes they're really big ups and downs.  But wow.....have you ever had them both on the same day? 

Yesterday we had her funeral.  Col. Sew Fab took me to a private pet cremation service three hours away.  It was almost as traumatic as the day I got the terrible news.  It's just so final.  Daisy doesn't exist anymore...

I am exhausted.  I can't sleep.  I can't think clearly.  And we are moving across the country in four weeks.  It's just too much to deal with all at once.  

You've probably already figured out that my pets are not just pets to me.  They ARE my family.  They ARE my babies.  I like them more than most people I know.  Sorry.  I know that's not an appropriate thing to say but it's true.  My life revolves around my fur babies and they are spoiled and loved and treated like the earth revolves around them.
Daisy my cat celebrating Christmas
I am so glad I've always been someone who drops what they're doing if one of their pets wants attention.  I've always known that I never wanted to look back and say "why did I ignore a fur baby who was begging for attention because I was busy folding laundry or paying bills or doing some other mundane task?"  The trivial tasks will always be there.  But your loved ones won't.

So give your fur babies some extra attention today.  Even if you are overwhelmed with tons of other stuff to do you will NEVER regret taking some extra time out of your day to take your dog out to play or snuggle with your purring cat.


Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Full Speed Ahead

Now that I've had a week to digest the news that we're moving across the country to California, the shock has worn off and we're now going Full. Speed. Ahead.

The funny thing is that a few hours before we got the big news I had just been thinking to myself that I really, REALLY needed a Staycation and I was trying to figure out the perfect time to take a few days off.  Ha, ha!  What's that saying.....Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans!

So for now my Staycation plans have obviously been put on hold.  And we're heading out to California this weekend to look for a place to live.  But in a few months....once we've moved....and unpacked.....and settled in.....don't be surprised if you find me hiding my face in a pile of stuff with Emma for a few days.  I think she has the right idea for how to deal with life!
Emma Jane the Cavalier King Charles Spaniel

P.S. Thank you so much for all of the sweet and supportive and helpful comments on my last post!  I haven't had a chance to reply to everyone yet but I read every word you wrote and love your comments!!!