Sunday, May 12, 2013

Daisy: March 26, 1997 - May 6, 2013

Daisy my calico cat
I'm crushed.  I'm broken.  My heart has been shattered into a million little pieces.

While we were house hunting in California last week my precious little Daisy died unexpectedly in her sleep while boarding.  She was 16 years old.  She had a few health problems that were being managed with medication.  But she was playing and purring and eating and snuggling and acting like a completely normal, happy, healthy cat before we left.  There was not even the slightest hint that something so tragic was about to happen.  It was a shocking blow to hear the news that she was gone.

I boarded her and Cassi (19 years old) at the vet because of their age and they're both on medication.  I also boarded Bailey because he and Daisy are inseparable best friends and I didn't want them to have to be apart.  That didn't work out so well....
Daisy and Bailey my cats
And all I can do now is torture myself with questions.  Was Daisy terrified the last few days of her life because she was boarding and not at home?  Did the anxiety of boarding cause this to happen?  Did she think her Mommy abandoned her?  Was there something else we could have done for her?  Some other test?  Some other medication?  Something that would have prevented this?

It gives me small comfort to know that she peacefully died in her sleep and that she was sharing a "condo" with her best friend but I will never get over the fact that I never got to say goodbye.  I never got to see her one last time.  I didn't get to hold her and tell her I love her and be the last thing she saw before she left us.

And in a bizarre twist of fate, that was the same day we found our dream house in California.  So what should have been one of the happiest days ever ended up being a tie for "worst day of my life" with the day that Max died.   I know life has ups and downs.  And sometimes they're really big ups and downs.  But wow.....have you ever had them both on the same day? 

Yesterday we had her funeral.  Col. Sew Fab took me to a private pet cremation service three hours away.  It was almost as traumatic as the day I got the terrible news.  It's just so final.  Daisy doesn't exist anymore...

I am exhausted.  I can't sleep.  I can't think clearly.  And we are moving across the country in four weeks.  It's just too much to deal with all at once.  

You've probably already figured out that my pets are not just pets to me.  They ARE my family.  They ARE my babies.  I like them more than most people I know.  Sorry.  I know that's not an appropriate thing to say but it's true.  My life revolves around my fur babies and they are spoiled and loved and treated like the earth revolves around them.
Daisy my cat celebrating Christmas
I am so glad I've always been someone who drops what they're doing if one of their pets wants attention.  I've always known that I never wanted to look back and say "why did I ignore a fur baby who was begging for attention because I was busy folding laundry or paying bills or doing some other mundane task?"  The trivial tasks will always be there.  But your loved ones won't.

So give your fur babies some extra attention today.  Even if you are overwhelmed with tons of other stuff to do you will NEVER regret taking some extra time out of your day to take your dog out to play or snuggle with your purring cat.

Hugs,
Jenny

22 comments:

Glenda said...

So very sorry for your loss...She knew you loved her. I will hug mine extra today for you.

Spoolhardy Girl said...

Oh, my gosh, Jen, I am so very sorry! Our four (and sometimes less than that) leggeds do break our hearts, but we know we couldn't live a rich life without them. Please don't torture yourself with "what ifs." You gave Daisy a wonderful life and she will see you again over the Rainbow Bridge.
XX
Mary

little acorns said...

Oh Jenny... I am so sorry. It is never easy to lose our little fur babies. Sending you ((( hugs))).
(By the way, I truly believe that our animals are more aware than what we realize, & so I'm sure that Daisy knew that you loved & cared for her (by making sure Bailey was with her) & didn't "abandon" her at all. She probably just waited until you found a home you would love, & picked a time when she knew you would not have to be the one who found her, & would have so much to keep you very busy... & I'm also sure that she knew how much she was treasured & loved with all the cuddles & loves she got every day.) xoxo.

Karen S. said...

I am so sorry for you, your Daisy was a beautiful girl. Our babies are just that, sweet and precious and the world to us. Hugs to you and yes, I believe I will give my "Girls" an extra snuggle today.

Missy Shay said...

I am so sorry for your loss! I know it is harder to know that you were out of town when it happened. I'll be praying for you.

PamKittyMorning said...

I am soo sorry. Xo

Anonymous said...

Jen,
I am so sorry. Virtual hugs for you.

Nancy said...

Don't torture yourself - no matter what happens when someone dies, you can always find something to feel guilty about. Crying is allowed, think of the good memories, and make a quilt with her picture on it... I have 6 dogs and I dread the day one of my furbabies dies. I like my doggies more than a whole lot of people too.

Yvette said...

I am so sorry for your loss. I am sitting here crying with you because I feel the same way about my pets. Take peace in the fact that you gave her many wonderful years of life.

sandra said...

Oh Jenny I am so sorry aboutyour loss I know how devastated you are because I love my Zeusie that way he is my best friend. It was her time and nothing would change that my dear . Blessings

Gerri said...

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Joan said...

I am so sorry for your loss. It is so diffficult to part with our furry friends. They bring such pleasure to our lives.

cheryl tappenden said...

Oh Jenny my heart goes out to you,l know how you feel l lost my fur baby on the 12 jan she was the image of your Emma l miss her so much she was the last of 4 the house is very empty now,just give your love to the rest of your babies Daisy will always be in your heart.xx

Gwen Wehner said...

So sorry to hear about Daisy. She had a wonderful life with you. I hope you feel better soon.

Susan P said...

Dear Jenny, So sorry for your loss. Daisy was so beloved and I know she was lucky to have such a wonderful home. Sending hugs and prayers to you! Susan

Billy'sgirl said...

I'm so sorry to hear that you lost Daisy. Please remember what a truly charmed life you have given all of your furry loved ones, and all the joy you have received from them, as well.

Kim and Dustin said...

I'm so sorry for your loss! Losing a pet is so very hard. When my childhood cat was 17 my parents told me that the next time I came home from college would probably be the last time I'd get to see him because he was really sick and would need to be put down soon. I rushed home to say goodbye and snuggle my precious cat one more time and he bit me so hard he drew blood...he was full of cancer and really hurting. So if it's any consolation at least you didn't have to see your Kitty suffer and you have a good memory of her last days. So sorry again and I hope you find comfort in remembering your cat and all the joy she brought you over the years. You were a good fur momma and you gave that cat a great life!
Take Care
Kim

Jenn said...

My heart breaks for you, too, Jenny! I can't imagine how you feel!

jan said...

Jenny,
I am so sorry Jenny. Please take comfort in the fact that you ALWAYS gave Daisy the very best life she could have possibly have experienced! The fact that she passed in her sleep confirms the fact that she was peaceful, so no, I do not think that she was panicked that you had left her or anything like that. She was contentedly sleeping with her best pal.xo jan

Sinta Renee said...

I am so so sorry for your loss. I have been crying all day, because it would have been my dogs birthday. It's just hard to get past. I'm sure that Daisy lived a happy and well appreciated life.

Anonymous said...

Dear Jenny,
I'm hearing your pain and sharing your sorrow. Having fur and feathered babies too, familiar with the grief of losing them. Love forges strong ties, releasing is not easy. Struggled to give my "precious pup" of 16 years into the Lord's care but when I did..what came into my mind was clear impression of him being safe in the arms of his creator.. who gave him to me in the first place. Gave relief and comfort, my boy was in the best place. I look up at the clouds now when they are curly puffs and there he is. I remember the joy and grateful for those years. Our animal friends are wonderful blessings,
worth every drop of love and care we give them and they do give us so much back in return. I trust that you will find all the comfort and love you need to help you at this time:) Toni-Anne

SewCalGal said...

I am truly sorry for your loss. I know you'll miss Daisy terribly, but how wonderful that she was loved and enjoyed a great live in your home to a ripe old age for a cat. I hope you find comfort knowing she wasn't ill in her final days and simply fell asleep with a best friend by her side. What more can we hope for in our life?

Big hug,

SewCalGal
www.sewcalgal.blogspot.com